The Funny Cruise Blog - Jokes, Tips & More

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Cruise Humor Blog: Jokes, Tips, and Sea Day Stories

Our cruise humor blog rounds up the jokes, packing hacks, drink-package wisdom, and pool-bar stories worth retelling. New posts when something on a sea day demands it.

DRINK PACKAGE

The Unofficial Cruise Drink Package Olympics

Get ready for the Unofficial Cruise Drink Package Olympics, where every sip counts in this hilarious drink package competition. Discover the 'events' and strategies for maximizing your cruise bar crawl, proving that your drink package was truly worth it.

May 28, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

How to Actually Relax on a Cruise (It's Harder Than You Think)

Ready for a truly stress free cruise? It's harder than it sounds to actually relax on a cruise, but we've got the cruise relaxation tips you need. From ditching early excursions to embracing comfortable clothes, learn how to truly unwind and enjoy your relaxing vacation.

May 24, 2026

LISTICLE

7 Reasons Balcony Rooms Ruin You for All Other Vacations

Discover why a cruise balcony room will forever change your vacation game. From private coffee rituals to escaping the Lido deck, a balcony makes every sea day better. Find out why this cabin type is an absolute must-have for your next trip and why a balcony is worth it.

May 20, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Debarkation Day

Navigating cruise debarkation day is an emotional rollercoaster, from the early morning suitcase symphony to the harsh reality of leaving the cruise ship. Discover the hilarious pains and eventual cure for the end of cruise blues.

May 19, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

Cruise Laundry: The Most Expensive Loads You'll Ever Wash

Discover the shocking truth about cruise ship laundry costs and how to avoid them. Learn practical packing tips and why buying more funny cruise shirts is a cheaper, funnier alternative to washing clothes on a cruise. Save your money for the drink package, not the dry cleaning!

May 19, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Why the Cruise Director Is Basically a Stand-Up Comedian

Ever wonder why your cruise director sounds like a seasoned stand-up comedian? Dive into the world of cruise director humor, from their overly enthusiastic morning announcements to their incredible stamina for keeping the laughs flowing all day long. Discover why these captains of cruise entertainment are basically the funniest people on the ship.

May 19, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

Smuggling Drinks on a Cruise: What Actually Works (Asking for a Friend)

Ever wondered about sneaking drinks on a cruise? We've all heard the tales of rum runners and shampoo bottle vodka, but cruise security is smarter than you think. Discover why attempting to bypass the bar tab isn't worth the stress, and why just buying the drink package (or wearing a funny cruise drinking shirt) is the real way to cruise smart and laugh hard.

May 19, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

An Honest Review of Cruise Ship Room Service

Unpack the hilarious truth about cruise ship room service, from the sheer luxury of a BLT in bed to the crucial role of late-night cruise food after a few drinks. Discover why this often-overlooked perk is an essential part of any cruise vacation experience, despite the continental breakfast coffee. Get ready for an honest cruise food review that's as funny as it is informative.

May 19, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

The Pool Deck Hierarchy: Where Do You Fall?

Dive into the hilarious world of cruise pool deck culture and discover where you fit in. From the early-bird loungers to the dedicated bar flies, every cruise pool deck has its own unique hierarchy of vacation personalities. Find your spot and embrace the fun.

May 19, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

How Many Drinks Does It Take to Make the Drink Package Worth It?

Wondering how many drinks it takes to hit the drink package break even on your next cruise? We're diving into the cruise drink math, factoring in daily drink package cost, individual drink prices, and even those crucial morning lattes. Find out if the cruise drink package is worth it for your vacation style.

May 19, 2026

GIFT GUIDE

Girls Trip Cruise Gifts That'll Start the Party Early

Planning a girls trip cruise? Find the best girls trip cruise gifts that ditch generic designs for actual humor. From sarcastic matching tanks to funny drink package tees, get your squad ready to be the funniest group on the high seas with our unique girls cruise shirts.

May 19, 2026

LISTICLE

12 Things You'll Say at Least Once on a Cruise

Every cruiser has a secret language. Discover the hilarious, universally recognized cruise quotes and funny cruise sayings that define life on the high seas. From buffet confessions to drink package declarations, these are the phrases you'll definitely utter on your next vacation.

May 19, 2026

BRAND UPDATES

Our Favorite Cruise Jokes (And the Shirts We Made From Them)

Discover the hilarious stories behind our favorite cruise joke shirts, from the origins of our 'Ship Faced' designs to why drink package humor reigns supreme. Learn how Funny Cruise Shirts curates every funny cruise tee to ensure genuine laughs and sparks conversations on the pool deck, setting us apart as the go-to for the best cruise humor.

May 19, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Why Cruise Photographers Are the Most Persistent People Alive

The persistent world of cruise photographers is a hilarious part of any vacation at sea. From mid-buffet ambushes to awkward formal night poses, these camera-wielding ninjas capture every moment, creating genuinely funny cruise photography memories. Discover why we put up with it and how a clever shirt can make you the star of every snapshot.

May 19, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

Top 10 Drinks to Order on Your Cruise (And One to Avoid)

Ready to make the most of your drink package? Discover the best cruise drinks to order, from classic cruise cocktails to smart choices that maximize value. We’ll also reveal the one neon-colored mistake you should always avoid on your next sailing.

May 19, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

An Open Letter to the Person Who Saved Pool Chairs at 6 AM

This open letter hilariously tackles the age-old cruise pool chair saving debate, offering a sarcastic take on the early morning towel drop and the elusive 'chair hogs.' Discover why this common cruise complaint is actually pretty funny, and how the deck patrol saves the day for those seeking a spot.

May 19, 2026

GIFT GUIDE

Pre-Cruise Gifts That'll Make Them Laugh Before They Board

Looking for the perfect pre cruise gifts? Discover funny cruise shirts that will make them laugh before they even board. From sarcastic couple sets to drink package humor, these gifts before a cruise set the tone for a hilarious vacation.

May 18, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Cruiser Zodiac: What Your Favorite Deck Says About You

Discover your true cruise humor personality based on your favorite ship deck. From Lido legends to casino regulars, find out what your preferred cruising spot says about you and your unique funny cruise zodiac.

May 17, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

Port Day Survival Guide for People Who'd Rather Stay on the Ship

Discover insider cruise port day tips for those who prefer the quiet luxury of an empty ship. Learn how to enjoy deserted pools, no lines at the buffet, and instant bar service while everyone else is ashore, making your vacation truly stress-free.

May 16, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

The Unspoken Rules of the Cruise Pool Bar

Hit the cruise pool bar like a seasoned pro. Learn the unspoken cruise drinking rules and essential pool bar etiquette to ensure your vacation is smooth sailing (and sipping). Get ready to keep the good times flowing with zero stress.

May 14, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

The Definitive Ranking of Cruise Ship Food

Ever wondered where your favorite cruise bites stand? We're dishing out the definitive cruise ship food ranking, from the legendary soft serve to the regrettable day-six salad bar. Discover the best cruise food and what to avoid on your next vacation.

May 13, 2026

SEASONAL

Wave Season Is Over — Did You Book Your Cruise Yet?

Wave Season might be over, but it's not too late for a fantastic cruise vacation. Even if you missed the prime window for a wave season cruise, there are still deals to be found, and more importantly, plenty of time to grab your funny cruise shirts before you set sail. Remember to order your cruise apparel at least two weeks before your trip!

May 12, 2026

LISTICLE

10 Cruise Ship Activities That Sound Fun (But Aren't)

Not all cruise ship activities are created equal. While some sound like a blast in the daily planner, the reality can be a hilarious letdown. Discover the funny cruise truths about the art auction, hairy chest competition, and other cruise entertainment that might leave you laughing for unexpected reasons.

May 10, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

A Love Letter to the Cruise Ship Midnight Buffet

Discover the magic of the cruise ship midnight buffet, where calories don't count and late-night cruise food reigns supreme. From 2 AM cruise pizza runs to shared laughs with strangers, this guide celebrates the best of after-hours indulgence on the high seas.

May 9, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

How to Survive Formal Night When You Packed All Funny Shirts

Navigating cruise formal night when your suitcase is packed with nothing but funny shirts is easier than you think. Discover the secrets to embracing the buffet or subtly sporting your humor, proving that a relaxed vacation look is always in style. Don't let the cruise dress code cramp your fun.

May 8, 2026

$Drink Package Math: Did You Actually Save Money? - Funny Cruise Shirts$

DRINK PACKAGE

Drink Package Math: Did You Actually Save Money?

The cruise drink package is a common debate among cruisers. This guide helps you calculate your potential cruise drink package savings by breaking down the break-even point, factoring in specialty drinks, and considering the psychological benefits of unlimited sips. We explore whether the upfront cruise alcohol cost truly pays off for your vacation style.

May 6, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Why Your Cabin Steward Deserves an Award

Your cruise cabin steward is the unsung hero of your vacation, magically cleaning your room and crafting towel animals. They provide incredible cruise service, remembering your preferences and making your cabin a spotless retreat. Discover why these dedicated cruise room attendants deserve extra appreciation and tips for their tireless work.

May 5, 2026

GIFT GUIDE

Matching Cruise Shirts for Couples: The Funny Edition

Looking for matching cruise shirts for couples that are actually funny? Ditch the cheesy and discover hilarious his and hers cruise shirts with witty puns, sarcastic slogans, and drink package humor. These couples vacation shirts are guaranteed to get laughs on the pool deck and make your next trip unforgettable.

May 4, 2026

LISTICLE

15 Cruise Ship Memes That Are Too Real

Dive into 15 cruise memes that are hilariously accurate for anyone who loves life at sea. From buffet plate mountains to drink package dilemmas, these funny cruise pictures capture the real, relatable cruise humor that only true cruisers understand.

May 2, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

What to Wear on a Cruise: A Guide for People With Humor

Wondering what to wear on a cruise? Ditch the stiff resort wear and pack some laughs with funny cruise apparel from Funny Cruise Shirts. Discover the perfect humorous cruise outfits, from witty tanks for sea days to sarcastic tees that make everyone smile.

May 1, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

The Best (and Worst) Cruise Ship Happy Hours

Uncover the secrets to the best (and worst) cruise happy hour spots on your next sailing. From prime pool deck times to late-night casino bar strategies, learn how to maximize your drink package and make every sip count. We break down the cruise ship bar specials so you can drink smarter, not harder.

April 30, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Cruise Ship Elevator Etiquette: An Unhinged Guide

Navigate the hilarious world of cruise ship elevators with our unhinged guide to cruise ship funny etiquette. From one-floor riders to formal night awkwardness, discover the unspoken rules and how a well-chosen shirt can break the tension. Get ready to laugh and maybe even get a free drink.

April 28, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

How to Be the Funniest Person on Your Cruise (Shirt Included)

Want to be the life of the lido deck? Discover expert funny cruise tips, from mastering elevator banter to deploying the perfect buffet joke. Learn how wearing a witty shirt does most of the work for you, helping you make friends and spread cruise humor effortlessly.

April 27, 2026

LISTICLE

8 Things That Are Weirdly Expensive on a Cruise Ship

Cruises are amazing, but watch out for surprisingly expensive cruise ship things that can drain your wallet. From outrageous cruise ship wifi to overpriced souvenirs, learn about the hidden cruise costs that often sneak up on vacationers. We’ll show you where to save your cash and how to avoid common cruise price traps.

April 26, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

Frozen Drinks on a Cruise: A Ranking Nobody Asked For

Dive into the frosty world of cruise frozen drinks with our hilarious, unofficial ranking. From the supreme Miami Vice to the risky frozen margarita, discover the best cruise cocktails to fuel your vacation fun. Get ready for brain freezes and poolside laughs with these essential tropical drinks.

April 24, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

The 5 Stages of Cruise Withdrawal (And How to Cope)

April 23, 2026

GIFT GUIDE

Funny Cruise Gag Gifts That'll Actually Get Used

Looking for cruise gag gifts that actually get a laugh and get used? Forget the plastic trinkets; we're talking about hilarious, high-quality funny cruise shirts designed to be their new favorite vacation uniform. Discover joke gifts for cruisers that perfectly capture the humor of cruise life, from sarcastic slogans to drink package jokes.

April 22, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Why Towel Animals Are the Unsung Heroes of Every Cruise

Discover why cruise towel animals are the unsung heroes of every cabin, bringing unexpected joy and humor to your vacation. Learn to appreciate the clever artistry of your cabin steward and the unspoken rules of these delightful terrycloth creations. It's just one more reason to love cruise life!

April 20, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

First Time Cruiser? Here's What You're About to Learn the Hard Way

Planning your first cruise? Get ready for some honest first time cruise tips and avoid common rookie cruiser mistakes. From paper-thin walls to the irresistible call of the drink package, learn what no one tells you about being new to cruising before you set sail.

April 18, 2026

LISTICLE

10 Things That Only Make Sense on a Cruise Ship

Cruises are a wild ride where normal rules don't apply. Discover 10 hilarious things that only make sense on a cruise ship, from double dinners to cheering for flaming desserts. Get ready for some truly funny cruise observations that every veteran cruiser will understand.

April 16, 2026

DRINK PACKAGE

How to Actually Use Your Drink Package Like a Pro

Ready to master your cruise drink package? Discover essential drink package tips cruise veterans use to maximize their sips and fun without the dreaded hangover. Learn how to befriend your bartender, stay hydrated like a pro, and make every beverage count on your next sailing.

April 14, 2026

SEASONAL

Summer Cruise Season 2026: What to Know Before You Board

Gear up for your summer cruise 2026 with our ultimate guide to navigating peak season crowds, staying cool, and making sure your humor game is strong. Discover why breathable tank tops and sarcastic cruise shirts are non-negotiable for a hilarious warm weather cruise experience. Secure your favorite funny shirts before the summer rush to guarantee laughs on the pool deck.

April 12, 2026

CRUISE HUMOR

Sea Day vs. Port Day: The Great Cruise Debate

Forget the frantic rush of shore excursions; the real debate of sea day vs. port day has a clear winner for true cruisers. Discover the pure bliss of having absolutely nowhere to be on a sea day, why it's the best part of a cruise, and why even veterans choose relaxing on a ship over chasing port adventures. Get ready to embrace peak vacation mode.

April 10, 2026

CRUISE TIPS

The Honest Guide to Cruise Packing (What You Actually Need)

Tired of overpacking for your cruise? This honest guide cuts through the fluff, offering essential cruise packing tips to help you pack light and smart. Discover what you actually need for your next trip, from versatile cruise outfits to unexpected cabin essentials, ensuring you save space for fun and funny shirts.

April 8, 2026